Are we less of a godly woman if we use canned spaghetti sauce??? Part 2

Continued from previous post...

The Bible speaks about the roles of men and women. It also speaks about their worth. In God's eyes, men and women are different (thankfully!!!). They were created differently for a purpose. Thankfully, we have unique gifting and roles and responsibilities, but men and women have the same VALUE and worth. God died for men and women. He gave His life for all of us. His offer of salvation is a free gift for us all.

If we choose to accept his free offer of salvation, then there are certain responsibilities and commands that come along with that for both men and women. We are given the greatest commandment in Matthew 22:37-40, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" We also see in the Great Commission that Jesus tells us, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20) We see throughout the Bible that we (as Christians, Christ followers) are to love and to serve others around us, to humble ourselves and serve our family, neighbor, friend or foe.

I hear so much about baking bread for your husband but what about baking bread for your husband AND your neighbors. Or what if instead of baking bread, you buy it at the store and spend that hour out in your front lawn or walking around your neighborhood meeting other moms like you and building relationships with them, relationships with them that lead to you being able to pour into her life and share with her about the amazing love of Christ.

Now, I am not saying that this should take away from your home or your children. Take your children with you: you are called to be a disciple-maker, and your children should be your number one disciples. Try and meet other women who have children their same age. They can play while you talk, not just for your social enjoyment or outlet but also for the purpose of the Gospel, in accord with your role as a Christian. I think we have lied to ourselves and have come to believe that staying home all day long every day and taking care of our family is enough, or that our role and service as a Christian woman within the home is enough, or is only what we are to be doing as a godly woman. I think we, in pursuit of serving God and our families in making our home a safe, comfortable haven, we have (in some ways) made a trap and snare for ourselves. Our home has become a place of worth to us, a place where we feel in control, where we feel powerful. We have made it hard for ourselves to venture outside of that comfort zone.

Oh, it is hard for me to say these things, because I don't think it is wrong to focus your energy and attention on your family. I don't think it is wrong to make fresh bread or make your home a comfortable place for your husband, but what I am saying and want to ask you is, "Is it enough?" As a Christian woman are you TRULY finding fulfillment in it (not personal fulfillment but do you feel you are doing all God is asking you to do?) I would venture to say that (if you are like me) many of you are not. You feel like there is something more, something more you can be doing, something more you can be pouring your life into. I am NOT saying that you need to spend 40 hours a week outside of your home (come on…there are things to do: dishes to wash, laundry to do, floors to sweep, food to make, naps to get (for the children of course :)), toys to play with, stuff to teach), but what I am saying is,

Is there time in your day that you could be spending in a way that impacts the kingdom of God outside of your home? Are their ways that you can be more intentional about reaching out to the woman around you every day? Are there ways that (after making sure your husband and children are getting the attention, love, care, example and service from you) that you can reach out to those outside of your family? Is making bread or learning to sew (although NOT bad things) what makes a godly woman?

To be continued tomorrow...

Are we less of a godly woman if we used canned spaghetti sauce?? Part 1 of 3

God has really been working in my heart and life lately and I have really been processing it and thinking through a lot of it. After praying about it, talking to some amazing godly women (who are some of my best friends) and discussing what the Lord had been convicting me of, I felt compelled to actually write some of it down and share it with you.

It is my desire and prayer that it will encourage all women (both you and me) to fulfill our God given responsibilities to take the Gospel to the lost, to love the Lord and to think of creative ways to do that in our amazing roles as wives, mothers, daughters and friends. I pray that God will speak to you as He has me as you read these next few posts (this is a LONG one so I have broken it into 3 parts that I will post over the next 3 days!)…

One of my friends who lives in South Asia recently said, "A huge reason I am alive is so God can use me in other people's lives." At that time it hit me and I took a second and wrote it down. I think often we get so busy and focused on what we need to do and what we want or how we feel that we forget to see that there are those all around us that we can serve.

I also think this goes beyond just our home. Recently, God has been speaking to me about what it means to be a godly woman, wife, and mother. As I have ventured into this new role of mom just 7 ½ short months ago, I have been evaluating what my new life should look like. I have been asking myself what the Bible says about this. I have been comparing it with what the "Christian culture" in America says and what the world says. To be honest, I am struggling with my findings right now.

Recently, I have been reading many Christian blogs and websites (I tend to spend a lot of time "blog jumping") about what it means to be a godly wife and mother these days. What I am finding has gotten me thinking: so much of what I find when I read about what it means to be a godly wife and mom is focused around "homemaking," or what it means to be a godly wife, mom, woman in the home among your family.

Now, I can see the big guns coming out now…just bear with me please.

These websites focus on teaching your daughter to be a homemaker and teaching her to love the home, love serving her husband, love serving her children, to be content washing dishes and cleaning and decorating her home. [Of course these are wonderful, necessary aspects of being a godly woman.] These sites teach that your daughters (and your) primary service, primary godly role, should be in the home, should be loving the home and making it a safe and comfortable haven for your family. They teach about the importance of making fresh bread, healthy food and nice curtains for your family. Now, what I am NOT saying is that these things are bad, because they certainly are not! But, what I have found difficult as I read these blogs is that I feel something HUGE is missing. I talk to SO many other wives who are serving over here in South Asia (and around the world), and they say things like, "I could be doing what I am doing in America. I don't even know why I live in this country. I just stay home all day and take care of my kids and my home. I never get to get out. I haven't learned language. I haven't met any national women."

I realize that what is happening (and has happened) is that the Christian church is fighting against the feminist movement that says that women should have equal responsibilities to men and that they should be "allowed" and "encouraged" to work outside of the home and that working in the home is not a worthy cause, etc, etc. (In other words, women and men are to have individual-focused lives, which is to the sacrifice of a biblical understanding of family, parenting, and all relationships in general.) But, what I think has happened instead is that we have taken it to the other extreme. What it boils down to is that I have not found much biblical evidence that a woman's "job" and calling is to stay home and make bread and cookies and clean her home all day long, only (Proverbs 31:10-31, among others). I am struggling with the fact that the church (my experience is mainly in America) is telling women that it is. My struggle is not with the role of a woman regarding her home and family, but the limitation of a woman to this disregarding her general calling and role as a Christian.

I am struggling with the fact that many Christian men and families feel that it is the husbands' responsibility (only) to be a light to the world, to go out into the community, to serve the world, leaving it the wives' job to be the light to her family and her children and her home. Again, these things are NOT bad but I think we are imbalanced. I think we have missed it.

Of course someone in the family has to work and from biblical example and teaching we can see that it is usually the man (or father) of the home who is the one who works outside of the home. So, then simple logistics say that the woman (unless she has to work) will be home with the children. If the children are home schooled or under school age, then the children will be home all day with the mother and the children and the home will become the woman's PRIMARY place of service. This makes sense and I don't think there is anything wrong with it (actually I am a huge supporter of stay at home moms. I pray that I can be one my entire life and serve and take care of my children at home. I think it is very important. I also am not saying that a full time job outside of the home is the goal, which has become a problem in American society to the detriment of the family. I am not saying that at all. I feel a job outside of the home CAN keep us from not having time to love and serve our family, AND even when women work outside of the home, it doesn't mean that they are being intentional about serving those around them). The problem I think comes when we say, "This [homemaking] is it," when we settle for serving ONLY inside our home, yes I said settle.

TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW…

Desperate times call for desperate measures....parenting!

So lately, I have been realizing all of the crazy things that I have done (some I had to and others I chose to) since becoming a parent in order to care for my children. I thought it would be fun to make a little list of some of the (not so orthodox) things I have done (many of which I said I would NEVER do) since becoming a mom:

- I have chewed up 3 bananas at different times and fed it to Gracie and Keane that way when I have either run out of baby food while we are out or need something to keep them occupied with and it is all I have!

- I have realized that one of the babies has pooped and gone to change their diaper and realized that they only pooped one little nugget and at the same time realized that they were going to get a bath just 30 minutes later so instead of wasting a whole new diaper I have just removed the nugget and put on the old diaper until bath time...I know gross but hey with two in diapers and them costing about 25 cents each...some would call me 'thrifty'!

- I have fed both of my babies in their car seats while driving TWICE...well, I wasn't driving, Ryan was but I was turned around in the car and was feeding them while the car was moving and YES, Kathmandu roads are BUMPY and dirt in many places but you have got to do what you've got to do right? Needless to say, their carseats (and the two of them...) were covered in apples by the end of it but they were full and happy!

- I have eaten and tasted all of their baby foods and formula on different occassions to make sure the temperture of the food was ok or to unclog the bottle. I know it might not seem like that big of a deal but formula is GROSS!

- I have used girl bibs on Keane and boy bibs on Gracie, purple pacifiers for Keane, pink blankets for Keane, blue (obviously boy blankets) for Gracie...It may not seem like a big deal but it was something I said I would NEVER do before having children.

- I have had one of the babies spit up ALL over me after I have been dressed and been ready to go and have just washed the spot with some water or wet wipes and WORN THE SAME SHIRT! Gross...who does that?

- I have caught their spit up IN MY HAND to make sure that it did not land on the couch or my pants.

- I have blocked Keane's pee from getting on me and all over the place with my hand before a bath or while his diaper is off.

I am sure there are a ton more. Right now I can't think of any...I would LOVE to hear some of yours! Please leave a comment and share some the crazy (desperate) things you have done since becoming a parent. I will try to post my favorites on my blog in another post!

Who do you trust?

The main teacher at the retreat was an AMAZING woman named Bettie. She was 73 years old and FULL of spunk. She had so many wonderful things to say and she even shared her unbelievable testimony with us. During one of the teaching sessions she said, "Trust what God says to you through your quiet time more than what the world says to you all day long." Wow. It really spoke to me. I have been known to be a people pleaser and I regard highly what others say about me and my family and our work, etc. It is easy for me to get distracted. To hear God speak so clearly to me about a certain issue or struggle or decision in the morning during my time with Him and then to let the world and those around me sway my feelings on the issue. I often second guess what I heard from the Lord or question if it was just me making something up and I am sure there have been many times that I have gotten a clear answer from God but have made the wrong decision because I listened to what the world was telling me and did not listen to what I know God was speaking to me. I am definitely not saying that you should not take counsel from the godly men and women that God puts around you...that is not it at all. I am simply saying that if I know God has spoken to me, even if it sounds a bit "crazy" or different than what I would have liked or expected, then I need to just do it and not analyze about it with others and be creative about how I can not do it and still be obeying.

Reign over all my dreams...

During one of our sessions at the ladies retreat, we sang the song, "Lord Reign in Me". I love that song but as I was singing it one line hit me especially hard...reign over all my dreams....You know when you are singing a song that you know (even in worship) and you just get into the routine of singing and don't really realize all that you are saying? Well, that is what happened to me as I sang. I realized that I was asking God to reign over all my dreams (whether I meant it in my heart or not). Was I ready for that? Did I truly mean it? Do I truly want Him to be in control of my dreams, my plans, my future? Wow. It was a lot to take in all at once. Was I truly wanting to give over my reign and let HIM reign in my life? After I thought about it (while I stopped singing for a second and began praying) I realized that YES, of course I want God to reign over EVERYTHING in my life, even when giving control over to Him is not easy. I do have dreams, things I hope will happen some day, some things that are important, others are not, others may even sound silly if I were to list them here but either way, I know that the best person to rule over those dreams is God himself. I do want Him to reign over all my dreams! I want to desire what He wants for me and not what I want for myself.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Lots to say...

I had the amazing opportunity to attend a ladies retreat here in Kathmandu during the first week of October. A wonderful group of ladies came from America to serve and minister to about 10 ladies (including me) who are serving here in South Asia. It was a wonderfully refreshing, fun and worshipful time. God spoke to me so much throughout the week. Over the next couple of posts I would like to share with you some of the things I heard that really spoke to me. Most of them are just one line quotes from the ladies who were teaching or words from a friend during small group time, but God used them mightily in my life to make me think and reflect and make changes. I pray that God will speak to you through these words as He has me.

P.S. The wonderful ladies served us and gave us pedicures, facials and massages. Here you can see me and some friends getting pedicures....I know...we are spoiled!

Back in the saddle again....

Well, it has been a BUSY few weeks! I honestly have not had time to do many of the things that I usually enjoy (and need to do) such as running, blogging and even having my quiet times with the Lord. Yesterday was the first day in a LONG time that I was able to do all three. I felt like a new woman. I have enjoyed what we have been doing but I have also missed the time I usually have to do those things. Hopefully, things have slowed down (a little) bit and I will be able to blog more soon. I have SO much I want to write about. I have been learning so much and look forward to sharing it with you. For now, I just wanted to let you know that I am still here....