Weight-loss, Exercise and Sermons...

The past 6+ months I have been really working on losing some weight and getting healthy. Lately people have been asking me if I have lost weight and what I am doing to lose it so I thought it was time for a blog about it all. I have lost 34 lbs since the beginning of April. It hasn't always been easy but it has left me feeling so much better about myself and I know that my body is healthier. I have so much more energy and have made exercise a part of my day that I really look forward to each morning (or sometimes afternoon, depending on the day.) I have 12 more lbs to reach my first big goal and then I would like to lose another 15 more after that. I have averaged a little more than a lb a week since I started...sometimes more, sometimes less.

One Sunday morning during the very end of March I heard an amazing Sermon (click on the link to download or listen) from my pastor, J.D. Greear about self-control and discipline. I realized then that my eating was really out of control. It wasn't that I was eating everything in sight it was just that I wasn't giving much thought to it and was not having control over my body and its desires. I realized then that I had to make some changes in my life and lose some of the weight that I had put on before and after having Keane and Gracie (unfortunately I can't really attribute my weight to baby weight because I weighed 5 lbs LESS after having Keane and Gracie than I did when I got pregnant with them). I talked to Ryan about it first. I have been on many "diets" in the past but they have all been temporary and lasted a few weeks or days or months and then once the "diet" was over I just went back to old habits of eating and living and put the weight (and often more) right back on. So, I decided that this time whatever I was going to do to lose this weight was going to have to be more about a lifestyle change and less about a "diet". I realized I needed to learn about the foods I was eating and learn how to make small changes and better choices in my life about food and exercise in order to make this change lasting.

I found a GREAT (free) calorie counting website where I could keep an online journal of what I was eating and how many calories I was consuming. It also allowed me to put in my height and my weight and it calculated the amount of calories my body needed each day to MAINTAIN my weight and it showed me how many calories I needed to eat each day in order to lose the weight I wanted to by my goal date. It REALLY helped me get started and learn about the food I was eating. I began to make small changes like saying no to mayonnaise and cheese and ordering foods grilled instead of fried or ordering light dressings on the side of my salad instead of regular on top. I knew that this wasn't something that was going to happen overnight. I knew it would take time and for the first time in my life, I was OK with that. I would rather give a whole year to trying to get to my goal weight and in the process change the way I think about food and learn to eat better than to spend the rest of my life on "quick fix" yo-yo diets, stressed out and self conscious about my weight. When you think about it that way...a year doesn't seem like a long time at all.

When we were in America for our stateside time it was very easy to count calories and keep very strict track of it all since EVERYTHING has calorie information on the labels including restaurant items (you can look up most menu items online and I did. When people would invite us to go out to eat (or when we wanted to ourselves) I would ask which restaurant they were thinking and I would go to the restaurants website and look at the calorie information for each item. Then I would make my decision then and there before stepping foot into the restaurant and when we arrived at the restaurant I wouldn't even look at the menu to tempt myself. I would just order what I had decided beforehand (what I knew was the best calorie choice and fit into my food needs for the day) and by the time everyone had gotten their food and we had all eaten I felt just as satisfied as if I would have ordered the cheesy, fried item that probably would have caught my attention if I hadn't already made my decision. I often felt more satisfied knowing what I ate was SO much healthier for me and I was one decision closer to my goal weight!).

Once we returned back to Nepal things got a bit harder to really keep exact track of (because nothing has calorie info on it here) but by that time I was two months into it and I had learned so much about the foods I was eating and how to make good choices. I knew how many calories were in a cup of rice or a piece of bread (if you don't that is where the calorie counting website will really help!) I learned it is all about balance and smaller portions. There is no magic diet out there and there is really no simple quick easy fix. Believe me, if there was the world would be skinny. It all boils down to: calories in, calories out. If you eat more calories than you body needs each day to live then you will gain weight. If you eat less calories (or burn them off with exercise) than your body needs each day to live then you will lose weight. It really is that simple. If you eat more calories in carrots than your body needs each day (that is a lot of carrots) than you will gain weight. It is not so much about the kinds of food that we are eating but the amount of food that we are eating. The healthier (and fresher and greener) the foods we choose the more of them we get to eat. I love chocolate and I have eaten something chocolate everyday since I started this new "lifestyle". I knew I had to. I had tried to completely cut it out of my diet before but once I stopped the diet then I just binged on it and ate it all the time. This way, nothing is off limits. It is just the amount that I am concerned about. If I eat a big piece of chocolate cake for my friends birthday then I just eat a very, very light lunch or dinner that day. Like I mentioned earlier, it has been all about balance for me. With God's help, I have gained control over my body and its desires for food (I know this will be a lifetime battle that I will always have to be conscious about). I have learned how to know when I am full and when to stop eating. I have learned to say no to second portions when I know I have already eaten enough. I have learned to take only a bite of something and let the rest pass by. My pastor has also said, "Sacrifice is giving up something you love for something you love more." That has been my motto throughout this entire process. I love food (especially sweets) but I love the thought of being thin and healthy and in shape much, much more than the temporary pleasure that the taste of that food on my mouth brings.

Also, since I came back to Nepal and it was harder to know exactly how many calories I was eating each day (although I always have an idea), especially since often we are eating at friends house and have to eat what they give us, I really increased the amount that I was exercising. I exercise 5-6 days a week for about 45 minutes - 1 hour everyday (on top of the normal walking I do around my community). For me, it works best to get up before Keane and Gracie do (at about 6:15 am) and do an exercise video in my living room (I love Tae-bo and Jillian Michaels work out DVD's). We also have a membership to a gym near our home so sometimes I go there as well to swim or run on the treadmill. I can honestly say that I love exercise now. It is not a chore. I feel so much better after a great workout than I did before one. Lately, I have been turning the volume off on my exercise DVD's (once you have done them a few times the commentary gets OLD and BORING and in my mind is a waste of time) and listen to a sermon while I am exercising. Most sermons are about the same amount of time (45 minutes) as many workout DVD's and listening to the sermon makes the time exercising seem to go by so much faster and I feel so refreshed from hearing the Word of God taught while I exercise. It becomes a wonderful 45 minutes for my mind, body, heart and soul.

I pray that you will be encouraged by my story. Believe me, if I can get control of this in my busy life than you can too. It is not too late and it is easier than you think. Just take one step at a time. I am still working on reaching my goals so I am right there with you. Also, maybe it is not food that "controls" you. Maybe you are not overweight but your life is "out of control" in other areas. The sermon I mentioned earlier in this post is a WONDERFUL one for anyone to listen to. As Christians we must NOT let our bodies have control over us. With God's help and strength we can overcome the things that hold us back from being the person that God intends for us to be. We don't have to do it alone and it might take some time but it is worth it!

When I finally stop and listen...

Balancing life wearing so many different hats (wife, mom, disciple of Christ, language learner, cook, English teacher, emailer, etc, etc) is often overwhelming. Trying to make sure that I am being intentional with my time and giving 110% to whatever I am doing at the moment is often hard. During the "down-time" of the day, I find that it is hard for me to relax and just be content to sit and enjoy the quietness or the stillness. However, yesterday I had such a unique and special time with the Lord in my community where I actually stopped long enough to really hear from Him...

I teach English on Tuesday and Friday mornings to a few Tibetan woman. Yesterday, I went to my class at our usual time, and the restaurant where I teach these women was closed. So I had to cancel class for the day. I called Ryan (who was home with the kids) and told him the situation and told him that I was going to take some time and just sit at the stupa (the Tibetan Buddhist temple by my home) and pray and listen and talk to some people there. He of course was fine with that and so supportive as usual. I spend a lot of time at the stupa, but most of the time I have a specific purpose or reason to be there. Yesterday, I decided to just sit on the steps of a big Buddhist monastery for a while. At the stupa (it is circular) people walk around and around it and believe that each time they circle the temple they are earning good karma (or merit) for the next life. Because I had time to just sit, pray, watch and listen for the first time in a while, all of it was overwhelming. I began to tear up,and my heart was just so broken as I sat and watched these people that I love, that God loves even more, putting all of their faith and hope into idols made by human hands carved from stone, gold, wood and clay. I saw little old women, so old it was hard for them to walk,bowing down to these idols. I saw teenagers come and get 'blessings' from the Buddhist and Hindu spiritual leaders. I saw people pay respect to and honor a bell made of silver. I saw people give money to monks and nuns so that the monks and nuns would pray for them. I heard horns blaring from monasteries in worship to false gods. I heard monks chanting mantras (many of which they don't even understand). I saw children begging, and I could just go on and on.

Throughout my time, as I watched and prayed, God was revealing things to me and bringing many Scriptures to mind. I just had to pull out a pen and a paper and start writing. Here is a little of what I wrote yesterday:

God, it all seems so hopeless. It seems like it is a never ending cycle. People turn to idols, and then they turn their backs on you. People don't seek truth (Romans 3:11, Jeremiah 29:12-13). They do what makes them feel happy, what they think is right (Proverbs 16). I know that it is not all hopeless. I know that you can bring salvation to these people. That you can tear down their walls, their barriers, their blindness, the things that keep them from knowing you. I know you can do it, and I ask that you PLEASE do it! I can see now (or at least understand a little bit more) why you sent the flood and why you had to destroy your creation at that time. Thank you for speaking to Noah and his family and for saving them from the flood. Thank you that you have provided a way for us to be saved from sin and your wrath (Romans 3:23, Romans 10:9, 1 John 1:9). I know that one day you are going to come again and judge the world. I know that those that don't know you will be eternally separated from you (John 14:6). I know that that breaks your heart so much more than it breaks mine. You love these people more than I ever could. So much so, that you sent your One and Only Son to die for them and for me (John 3:16). You are SO patient and long suffering. Your Word tells us that one day you will return, and I believe that with my whole heart (Matthew 24:36-44). I know you are waiting to return because those that you desire to hear about you haven't yet (Revelation 7:9), because you desire the ones who are here on the earth NOW to know you. It is your desire that no one perish but that ALL PEOPLE come to repentance and come to KNOW you (2 Peter 3:9). I know it must break your heart and make you so sad that so many people around the world, including most of the Tibetan Buddhist people I am looking at now, don't know you. I know you love them. Thank you for loving them. I know that these people aren't going to come to you unless they hear about you and unless we tell them (Romans 10:14, Matthew 28:18-20). I want to tell them about you. I want them to know you, to understand all they can about you, to love you. I want their lives to be transformed and for your name to be famous throughout the Himalayan mountains of Nepal.

God, help me to love the people here (and around the world) as you do. Help me in my language abilities. Open my eyes, my mind, my ears to the ways and places you are working here. I love you and am SO thankful for my salvation. I want to spend my life serving you!

I just wanted to encourage you (and me) today, to share our love for the Lord and His love for all people with those around us today wherever we are. We don't know what tomorrow holds, but we do know that God desires that ALL people would know Him. We have an important role in that, and we are to be the mouthpiece to share the Truth about God and who He is and the relationship He desires with all people. What an awesome privilege that is!

It is the little things...

These days my life seems to be so busy. Not too busy that I can't slow down or get control of things but just busy enough that at the end of my day I can barely keep my eyes open. Sometimes when life gets this busy it is so easy to focus on all of the things that HAVE to get done and so often times I forget to give attention to the things (0r people) that I need to and want to. This has happened recently with my husband. It is not something that he or I really even noticed (thankfully) but I realized that I was doing life with him, taking care of Keane and Gracie with him, taking care of our team with him, ministering with him but I really wasn't reaching out to him, serving him, spending quality time with him and just having fun with him. I would love to be able to say that when I realized this I got a babysitter and took my husband on a romantic date (which mind you is VERY hard to do in Kathmandu) and spent hours upon hours with only him but that is not what happened. What I did instead was to clean the coffee filter out of the pot, fill the pot up with water and fresh coffee grounds so it was all ready for him in the morning when he woke up. You see, my husband LOVES coffee and makes a hot, fresh pot every morning. The other day he was reminding me that one of the things he dislikes most is cleaning out the coffee pot and getting it ready for fresh coffee to be made. He wished that the coffee would just be ready in the morning without all of that (he was talking about a magical machine and truly not hinting for me to make it). Sounds silly, huh? But no, for Ryan this is something special to him. So, I decided to get his coffee pot all set up. When he realized that I had done this for him he was SO happy and thankful. It made him feel so special and loved. Cleaning and refilling the coffee pot is just a small way that I can show my husband that I love him but it is the little things right? I have decided that I am going to try and get his coffee cleaned up and set up each day for him...not because he ever asked me to do it or because he expects me to do it but because to him it is special and it is just one way, in my crazy, busy days that I can take a few extra minutes and show my husband how special he is to me and how much I love him.

Are there small things that you can do in your life to show those around you that you love them? It will make such a big difference in your relationships and loving and serving those around us honors and glorifies God...

Are we less of a godly woman if we use canned spaghetti sauce??? Part 3

Continued from previous 2 posts...

I feel that we in many ways are living in the past; we've reverted to the past, pre-feminism. As a response to feminism, which in many ways sets up the individual as god, Christianity looked to cultural and social answers for a biblical role of a godly woman. I think that Christian godly woman in the past HAD to make bread, HAD to learn to sew, HAD to make dinner from scratch every night. I think that we have falsely equated what they HAD to do to survive and thrive with what we have to do in this day and age. Is it WRONG to buy store bought bread? Are we less of a godly woman if we use canned spaghetti sauce? MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY, where does homemaking fit into the work of the Gospel, for which all of God's children are responsible?: certainly it [homemaking] plays a major role, but it is by no means a complete understanding of the role of a Christian woman in the world bringing the Good News to the lost.

I know you have thought these things. And you know what one of the biggest problems is? Because the Christian culture is telling us that these things are most important, our husbands (like us) believe it. So if you don't make bread but Mary from across the street does, then she is doing what she is supposed to, and we are not.

What about teaching our daughters to serve their husbands, families, homes AND to love the lost, to spend time serving others around her, to spend time cleaning the old ladies house down the street, to spend time washing dishes at the homeless shelter, to take food to others to bless them, to share what Christ has done in her life with the world. The only way she is going to learn these things is if we model them in our own lives. This is "Discipleship 101."

Serving others around you does not mean that your home life has to suffer. I definitely don’t think that that is what God intends. It just means that you figure out what is most important and do it and teach it. Figure out what is most important because God says so and not because the world (Christian or not) is telling you so. It would be amazing to know how much the world is changed if every housewife shared her faith with at least one other woman a week, if every housewife not only made bread for her family but also made it for the neighbor's family.

There are many ways to do this and make it happen. Maybe you can sit down with your husband and figure out just one hour a week where he can stay home with the kids and you can get out. For women on this side of the world, this may be easier for you because your husbands' schedules may be more flexible (and many of us have some sort of house help). For ladies whose husbands have full time, set-hour jobs, this may be more difficult, but you also could hire a high school kid to come and stay at home with your children for just one hour while you spend time visiting with ladies on your street. (I encouraged taking your children with you before. These are just ideas if that is not possible or for times you would just like to be able to have a deeper conversation without having to get up every few minutes to take care of the children.)

This all may sound silly, crazy even, but perhaps that is because there is little to no priority given to the Gospel. For wives who have husbands who have flexible work schedules, consider discussing this with him and seeing if there are ways that you can compromise and work out a few hours a week (or one day a week) that he can stay with the children while you go out into the community OR (since I am sure many of you might say that these things won't work) what about inviting women into our home? What about hosting lunches at our home for the ladies on our street and all chipping in to hire a babysitter (even just one babysitter who can be an extra set of hands) and talking about life issues? Serving them?

We make it work for things we want to do (ouch…I am speaking to myself here (in ALL of this) just as much ladies!) like going out to eat with friends, going to the mall or movies, but for some reason when it comes to ministry we have let ourselves become content with serving only within the confines of the home.

Have you ever been around women who say, "I know my ministry right now is to serve my husband and my children and take care of my home, but I am just not happy: I feel something is missing"? I have! I have been around MANY women like this who are battling between what the Christian community is telling them and what they understand Scripture is saying. I think this is because we are imbalanced about what we are teaching women is important, and I think this is because we are settling to stay in our comfort zones in our home and not push each other to look for ways that we can not only serve inside our home but also OUTSIDE among those that need the Gospel (OF COURSE I know your children need the Gospel too, PLEASE don't misunderstand or misread!), need to know God loves them and wants a relationship with them and has a perfect plan for their lives! I think this is also because our husbands are also listening to the "Christian culture" and thinking that we should be happy and content and fulfilled in our duties at home. So, they can't understand (and sometimes don't help) when we want to find some way to serve others in our community.

I think one of the most important things in all of this is the WHY. Why do we want help from our husbands...why do we want time to "get out", etc? Is it because we feel ENTITLED to some time away, because we desire EQUALITY so much, because we are seeking for something else to satisfy us other than our duties at home, because we feel our gifts and talents will be better utilized and appreciated outside of the home? If it is for one of these reasons I think we have MISSED it as well. I am not condoning ANY of these reasons. I am only suggesting that we should "get out" (or invite women in) because of our awesome responsibility as Christian, Jesus following, women to take Christ's love to the lost around us.

I am not asking you to approach your husband and tell him, "I need MY time." I am asking you to consider (and pray about) approaching your husband and explaining to him this INTENSE (God given) desire you have to SERVE your Lord with those around you and explain to him that you might need his help to do so. I am suggesting that you approach your husband and explain to him that you simply want to fulfill what the Lord has asked of you in impacting the world around you in your community BECAUSE of your love for Christ and NOT out of selfish motives.

I venture to say that if we do this, we will all be MORE equipped to serve our families and our home and will be better wives and moms because we are doing exactly what God asked us to do and not spending our days wondering why we feel like 'something is missing' the way that we often do.

I pray that as you have read this you feel LOVE and not condemnation. I pray that you see my humble, learning heart in all of this and not an arrogant spirit. I am not trying to be offensive or to shove my "opinions" down your throat. I am not trying to be a renegade and go against all cultural norms. I am not trying to JUDGE. I am not making a blanket statement that all Christian women are under this impression. I am not trying to put all Christian women in a box. I am trying to do the OPPOSITE!

I am trying to encourage and sharpen you and me. I am trying to hold us all to the correct standard. I am trying to search through Scripture and truly live according to God's plan. I am simply trying to help us all become the women that God has designed us to be.

**OK, I have already heard from a few of you (thanks for commenting) but I want to hear more. For those of you who stuck with me for all three posts, what do you think? I would love to know what this has done in your life. I would love to know your opinion on the matter, what God is teaching you. Leave a comment and let me know. Thanks!

Are we less of a godly woman if we use canned spaghetti sauce??? Part 2

Continued from previous post...

The Bible speaks about the roles of men and women. It also speaks about their worth. In God's eyes, men and women are different (thankfully!!!). They were created differently for a purpose. Thankfully, we have unique gifting and roles and responsibilities, but men and women have the same VALUE and worth. God died for men and women. He gave His life for all of us. His offer of salvation is a free gift for us all.

If we choose to accept his free offer of salvation, then there are certain responsibilities and commands that come along with that for both men and women. We are given the greatest commandment in Matthew 22:37-40, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" We also see in the Great Commission that Jesus tells us, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20) We see throughout the Bible that we (as Christians, Christ followers) are to love and to serve others around us, to humble ourselves and serve our family, neighbor, friend or foe.

I hear so much about baking bread for your husband but what about baking bread for your husband AND your neighbors. Or what if instead of baking bread, you buy it at the store and spend that hour out in your front lawn or walking around your neighborhood meeting other moms like you and building relationships with them, relationships with them that lead to you being able to pour into her life and share with her about the amazing love of Christ.

Now, I am not saying that this should take away from your home or your children. Take your children with you: you are called to be a disciple-maker, and your children should be your number one disciples. Try and meet other women who have children their same age. They can play while you talk, not just for your social enjoyment or outlet but also for the purpose of the Gospel, in accord with your role as a Christian. I think we have lied to ourselves and have come to believe that staying home all day long every day and taking care of our family is enough, or that our role and service as a Christian woman within the home is enough, or is only what we are to be doing as a godly woman. I think we, in pursuit of serving God and our families in making our home a safe, comfortable haven, we have (in some ways) made a trap and snare for ourselves. Our home has become a place of worth to us, a place where we feel in control, where we feel powerful. We have made it hard for ourselves to venture outside of that comfort zone.

Oh, it is hard for me to say these things, because I don't think it is wrong to focus your energy and attention on your family. I don't think it is wrong to make fresh bread or make your home a comfortable place for your husband, but what I am saying and want to ask you is, "Is it enough?" As a Christian woman are you TRULY finding fulfillment in it (not personal fulfillment but do you feel you are doing all God is asking you to do?) I would venture to say that (if you are like me) many of you are not. You feel like there is something more, something more you can be doing, something more you can be pouring your life into. I am NOT saying that you need to spend 40 hours a week outside of your home (come on…there are things to do: dishes to wash, laundry to do, floors to sweep, food to make, naps to get (for the children of course :)), toys to play with, stuff to teach), but what I am saying is,

Is there time in your day that you could be spending in a way that impacts the kingdom of God outside of your home? Are their ways that you can be more intentional about reaching out to the woman around you every day? Are there ways that (after making sure your husband and children are getting the attention, love, care, example and service from you) that you can reach out to those outside of your family? Is making bread or learning to sew (although NOT bad things) what makes a godly woman?

To be continued tomorrow...

Are we less of a godly woman if we used canned spaghetti sauce?? Part 1 of 3

God has really been working in my heart and life lately and I have really been processing it and thinking through a lot of it. After praying about it, talking to some amazing godly women (who are some of my best friends) and discussing what the Lord had been convicting me of, I felt compelled to actually write some of it down and share it with you.

It is my desire and prayer that it will encourage all women (both you and me) to fulfill our God given responsibilities to take the Gospel to the lost, to love the Lord and to think of creative ways to do that in our amazing roles as wives, mothers, daughters and friends. I pray that God will speak to you as He has me as you read these next few posts (this is a LONG one so I have broken it into 3 parts that I will post over the next 3 days!)…

One of my friends who lives in South Asia recently said, "A huge reason I am alive is so God can use me in other people's lives." At that time it hit me and I took a second and wrote it down. I think often we get so busy and focused on what we need to do and what we want or how we feel that we forget to see that there are those all around us that we can serve.

I also think this goes beyond just our home. Recently, God has been speaking to me about what it means to be a godly woman, wife, and mother. As I have ventured into this new role of mom just 7 ½ short months ago, I have been evaluating what my new life should look like. I have been asking myself what the Bible says about this. I have been comparing it with what the "Christian culture" in America says and what the world says. To be honest, I am struggling with my findings right now.

Recently, I have been reading many Christian blogs and websites (I tend to spend a lot of time "blog jumping") about what it means to be a godly wife and mother these days. What I am finding has gotten me thinking: so much of what I find when I read about what it means to be a godly wife and mom is focused around "homemaking," or what it means to be a godly wife, mom, woman in the home among your family.

Now, I can see the big guns coming out now…just bear with me please.

These websites focus on teaching your daughter to be a homemaker and teaching her to love the home, love serving her husband, love serving her children, to be content washing dishes and cleaning and decorating her home. [Of course these are wonderful, necessary aspects of being a godly woman.] These sites teach that your daughters (and your) primary service, primary godly role, should be in the home, should be loving the home and making it a safe and comfortable haven for your family. They teach about the importance of making fresh bread, healthy food and nice curtains for your family. Now, what I am NOT saying is that these things are bad, because they certainly are not! But, what I have found difficult as I read these blogs is that I feel something HUGE is missing. I talk to SO many other wives who are serving over here in South Asia (and around the world), and they say things like, "I could be doing what I am doing in America. I don't even know why I live in this country. I just stay home all day and take care of my kids and my home. I never get to get out. I haven't learned language. I haven't met any national women."

I realize that what is happening (and has happened) is that the Christian church is fighting against the feminist movement that says that women should have equal responsibilities to men and that they should be "allowed" and "encouraged" to work outside of the home and that working in the home is not a worthy cause, etc, etc. (In other words, women and men are to have individual-focused lives, which is to the sacrifice of a biblical understanding of family, parenting, and all relationships in general.) But, what I think has happened instead is that we have taken it to the other extreme. What it boils down to is that I have not found much biblical evidence that a woman's "job" and calling is to stay home and make bread and cookies and clean her home all day long, only (Proverbs 31:10-31, among others). I am struggling with the fact that the church (my experience is mainly in America) is telling women that it is. My struggle is not with the role of a woman regarding her home and family, but the limitation of a woman to this disregarding her general calling and role as a Christian.

I am struggling with the fact that many Christian men and families feel that it is the husbands' responsibility (only) to be a light to the world, to go out into the community, to serve the world, leaving it the wives' job to be the light to her family and her children and her home. Again, these things are NOT bad but I think we are imbalanced. I think we have missed it.

Of course someone in the family has to work and from biblical example and teaching we can see that it is usually the man (or father) of the home who is the one who works outside of the home. So, then simple logistics say that the woman (unless she has to work) will be home with the children. If the children are home schooled or under school age, then the children will be home all day with the mother and the children and the home will become the woman's PRIMARY place of service. This makes sense and I don't think there is anything wrong with it (actually I am a huge supporter of stay at home moms. I pray that I can be one my entire life and serve and take care of my children at home. I think it is very important. I also am not saying that a full time job outside of the home is the goal, which has become a problem in American society to the detriment of the family. I am not saying that at all. I feel a job outside of the home CAN keep us from not having time to love and serve our family, AND even when women work outside of the home, it doesn't mean that they are being intentional about serving those around them). The problem I think comes when we say, "This [homemaking] is it," when we settle for serving ONLY inside our home, yes I said settle.

TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW…