Are we less of a godly woman if we used canned spaghetti sauce?? Part 1 of 3

God has really been working in my heart and life lately and I have really been processing it and thinking through a lot of it. After praying about it, talking to some amazing godly women (who are some of my best friends) and discussing what the Lord had been convicting me of, I felt compelled to actually write some of it down and share it with you.

It is my desire and prayer that it will encourage all women (both you and me) to fulfill our God given responsibilities to take the Gospel to the lost, to love the Lord and to think of creative ways to do that in our amazing roles as wives, mothers, daughters and friends. I pray that God will speak to you as He has me as you read these next few posts (this is a LONG one so I have broken it into 3 parts that I will post over the next 3 days!)…

One of my friends who lives in South Asia recently said, "A huge reason I am alive is so God can use me in other people's lives." At that time it hit me and I took a second and wrote it down. I think often we get so busy and focused on what we need to do and what we want or how we feel that we forget to see that there are those all around us that we can serve.

I also think this goes beyond just our home. Recently, God has been speaking to me about what it means to be a godly woman, wife, and mother. As I have ventured into this new role of mom just 7 ½ short months ago, I have been evaluating what my new life should look like. I have been asking myself what the Bible says about this. I have been comparing it with what the "Christian culture" in America says and what the world says. To be honest, I am struggling with my findings right now.

Recently, I have been reading many Christian blogs and websites (I tend to spend a lot of time "blog jumping") about what it means to be a godly wife and mother these days. What I am finding has gotten me thinking: so much of what I find when I read about what it means to be a godly wife and mom is focused around "homemaking," or what it means to be a godly wife, mom, woman in the home among your family.

Now, I can see the big guns coming out now…just bear with me please.

These websites focus on teaching your daughter to be a homemaker and teaching her to love the home, love serving her husband, love serving her children, to be content washing dishes and cleaning and decorating her home. [Of course these are wonderful, necessary aspects of being a godly woman.] These sites teach that your daughters (and your) primary service, primary godly role, should be in the home, should be loving the home and making it a safe and comfortable haven for your family. They teach about the importance of making fresh bread, healthy food and nice curtains for your family. Now, what I am NOT saying is that these things are bad, because they certainly are not! But, what I have found difficult as I read these blogs is that I feel something HUGE is missing. I talk to SO many other wives who are serving over here in South Asia (and around the world), and they say things like, "I could be doing what I am doing in America. I don't even know why I live in this country. I just stay home all day and take care of my kids and my home. I never get to get out. I haven't learned language. I haven't met any national women."

I realize that what is happening (and has happened) is that the Christian church is fighting against the feminist movement that says that women should have equal responsibilities to men and that they should be "allowed" and "encouraged" to work outside of the home and that working in the home is not a worthy cause, etc, etc. (In other words, women and men are to have individual-focused lives, which is to the sacrifice of a biblical understanding of family, parenting, and all relationships in general.) But, what I think has happened instead is that we have taken it to the other extreme. What it boils down to is that I have not found much biblical evidence that a woman's "job" and calling is to stay home and make bread and cookies and clean her home all day long, only (Proverbs 31:10-31, among others). I am struggling with the fact that the church (my experience is mainly in America) is telling women that it is. My struggle is not with the role of a woman regarding her home and family, but the limitation of a woman to this disregarding her general calling and role as a Christian.

I am struggling with the fact that many Christian men and families feel that it is the husbands' responsibility (only) to be a light to the world, to go out into the community, to serve the world, leaving it the wives' job to be the light to her family and her children and her home. Again, these things are NOT bad but I think we are imbalanced. I think we have missed it.

Of course someone in the family has to work and from biblical example and teaching we can see that it is usually the man (or father) of the home who is the one who works outside of the home. So, then simple logistics say that the woman (unless she has to work) will be home with the children. If the children are home schooled or under school age, then the children will be home all day with the mother and the children and the home will become the woman's PRIMARY place of service. This makes sense and I don't think there is anything wrong with it (actually I am a huge supporter of stay at home moms. I pray that I can be one my entire life and serve and take care of my children at home. I think it is very important. I also am not saying that a full time job outside of the home is the goal, which has become a problem in American society to the detriment of the family. I am not saying that at all. I feel a job outside of the home CAN keep us from not having time to love and serve our family, AND even when women work outside of the home, it doesn't mean that they are being intentional about serving those around them). The problem I think comes when we say, "This [homemaking] is it," when we settle for serving ONLY inside our home, yes I said settle.

TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW…