In America, We will never....

So in honor of the past three years that we have spent in Nepal and the excitement we have about coming to America in just 6 days we have been spending some time "reminiscing" about life here and our adjustment back to America for a while and we have come up with a great list of things that will NEVER happen or that we WILL NEVER DO in America that happen here or that we do here in Nepal (thanks to our great friends Jesse and Shanee and Jo for help with this)...

(in no particular order)
In America...
1. We will never see people riding on the roof of buses, trucks and cars because the inside of the bus, truck and car is so full.
2. We will never go into a video store (picture Blockbuster...do they still have that??) and ask, "Is this a pirated copy?"
3. We will never go to a friend's house for dinner and have to hide the food they give us in our pockets, bag or better yet, have to throw it off the balcony when they are not looking because they give us WAY too much and it tastes SO bad we can't eat it if we tried, just to make them happy because food is so important here and in this culture you definitely DON'T leave food on your plate even though THEY served you a GIGANTIC portion.
4. We will never have to bargain to buy things like toilet paper, jackets, taxis, light bulbs, etc. And we will never have to ask a salesman if he is giving us the right price or if the price is just high because we are foreigners.
5. We will never have to boil or filter water.
6. We will never eat with our hands, lick our fingers after a meal, lick our plate or drink soup from the bowl without using a spoon.
7. We will never find a piece of hair (or glass or a bug) in our food in a restaurant and just pull the hair out, not say anything, and continue eating the rest of the meal like nothing happened.
8. It will never just be OK to show up 1 hour late for a meeting, church, sporting event, conference, lunch date, etc and not give an excuse, call or even mention it.
9. We will never see a blind person (or multiple blind people) leading another blind person down the road (I PROMISE this happens here).
10. We will never see a family of 4 (or 5 or 6) all riding on the same motorcycle.
11. We will never have to carry our own toilet paper with us to our friend's homes because they don't use toilet paper and don't have it in their homes.
12. We will never have to use a squatty potty.
13. We will never have to soak our vegetables in iodine water for twenty minutes before we eat them because they are so dirty.
14. We will never sit in traffic for 20 minutes and after it dissipates see that the reason for it was 4 cows lying in the middle of the road (or a man crossing the street with his goats or sheep).
15. We will never eat cheese SO hard that we have to keep it in the side of our cheek until the hot tea we are drinking melts it.
16. We will never drink tea with butter and salt in it.
17. We will never have language barriers. We will never be walking down the street and not understand 95% of what is being said.
18. We will not be able to talk about anything we want to in English in front of people because they have no idea what we are staying.
19. We will not see a lady making and selling tea on the side of the road.
20. We will not have to wonder if the place we are going to for lunch has wild monkeys there that take away your food.
21. We will never be driving and have to turn around because a riot has begun without notice.
22. We will never have a "shoot-to-kill" order on our street and be stuck in our home for 22 days straight because there is a mandatory curfew called by the government.
23. We will never find a person who will work with all of their might for $1 a day and be completely happy about it.
24. We will never hire "professional" movers and have them show up with a dump truck filled with an inch of sand to move our stuff in.
25. We will never be allowed to drive on the wrong side of the road, on sidewalks, through traffic, etc.
26. We will never get away with SO MUCH just because we are "white" (or a foreigner)like driving right past police check-posts, not having plane tickets to board an airplane, etc.
27. We will never be able to schedule very important meetings involving many people hours or one day before hand.
28. We will never see parents in America cover their child's head completely with a plastic bag to shield him from the rain.
29. We will never carry an umbrella on a bright sunny day so we don't get tan from the sun (people here love having "white" skin).
30. We will never choose to use the bathroom outside because the "public restrooms" inside are SO nasty and clearly HAVE NEVER been cleaned.
31. We will never be invited over to our friend's home for dinner and be placed in another room completely separate from the family who invited us so we can eat alone.
32. We will never have the option to go to the grocery store and buy the head of the chicken, goat, buffalo or cow.
33. We will never have a cold and have one of our American friends say it is because we drank cold water the day before or that we have a fever so we need to drink hot tea to get rid of it.
34. We will never have diarrhea for a week straight and think it is "normal".
35. We will never drive by the street that our house is on and see 5 men lined up peeing in the field.
36. It will never be OK to pick our nose or spit in public.
37. We will never go to some one's home and have them serve us pure cooked fat as an honor.
38. We will never see 3 year olds playing with matches and fireworks or 12" kukri knives that their parents gave them.
39. We will never look out our window and see 20+ children flying kites off of their roofs.
40. We will never be able to drive without our license and get away with it.
41. We will never have to filter the water for our babies bath.
42. We will never be able to buy prescription drugs without a prescription.
43. We will never wear clothes for multiple days without washing them.
44. We will never have to binge buy when imported goods from America are available at the supermarket because we don’t know when they may come again.
43. We will never have to buy gas on the black market from the local supplier as there is none available at the pump.
44. We will never have to wait for 1 month for cooking gas as there is severe shortage of essential goods.
45. We will never feel like we are "off-roading" while driving on the main road.
46. We will never drive in a car holding our babies in our laps.
47. We will never pay $5 per month for cable TV.
48. We will never have a porter carry our new refrigerator on his back for 3 miles to deliver it to our home.
49. We will never have to point and tell the butcher which part of the meat we want to take home.
50. We will never take ½ day just to get money out of our bank account.

Not me Monday...

For a few weeks now one of my favorite "stranger friends" (as my husband likes to call them, referring to people I don't personally know but read their blogs) began hosting a blog carnival entitled "Not me Monday" where you are brutally honest about some of the crazy things you did the past week by writing "not" in the sentence thus masking what you did, to yourself and everyone else around you so that you can feel more comfortable writing about your life and the crazy things you do and experience each day. I think it is a fun, hilarious idea and for weeks now I have been wanting to participate. McMama (the one who started it all) has an amazing blog and although she is a "stranger friend", I have enjoyed getting to know her and her family a little bit through her wonderful blog. She loves God and desires to serve Him even during the difficult times. You should definitely go over and check out her blog for yourself and while you are there you should read her amazing story and consider praying for her soon-to-be-born son Stellan. So here goes my first attempt at a "Not me Monday"...

1. I definitely did not see a completely naked man walking down the same street I was walking down with my husband and two babies and if I did I defininitely would not have wondered why in the world was said man totally naked yet carrying a suitcase? and I definitely would not have found it funny that all of the Nepali people all up and down the street were talking and laughing about it. No not me...stuff like this does not happen to me. I definitely do not live in a crazy country where things like this definitely do not happen everyday!
2. I did not stay in my pajamas 3 days this week while I did stuff around the house. No, not me! That would be breaking one of our house rules and I never break our house rules, not to mention would be lazy! And I am never lazy!
3. I definitely did not say anything mean to my husband this week and regret it later. I am always the perfect wife and I never say anything I feel sorry for later.
4. My bed definately did not go unmade almost (ok all) of the days this week. I always keep a perfectly tidy home and can easily balance it all! (I am really trying to work on this one!)
5. I definitely did not work really hard on making my first every falaffal balls from scratch only to have them disipate into basically nothing when I put them in the oil to fry them. Not me! I am an amazing cook and everything I try in the kitchen always turns out perfect!
6. I definitely did not reach my goal two weeks early and run for 30 minutes this week during my exercise time...not me! That might mean that I was a 'runner' so that definitely could not be me. (YEAH!!!)
7. I definitely did not have the guard at the hotel by my house where I go running at tell me in Nepali that I should keep it up and that I will look pretty if I am just a little bit smaller. No, that defintely did not happen to me. Nepalis are definitely not that blunt!
8. I definitely did not forget to write my accountability partner an email this week. Not me! I am always on top of these things and never forget to write, that would be irresponsible!
9. I definitely did not fall asleep two nights this week at 8 pm. I am a night owl and I would never fall asleep that early!
10. I definitely do not have only 15 more days to go before I board an airplane to go to America to be with my family and friends! And I definitely am not totally excited about it!!!!

Why I (now) hate stink bugs...

It is 9:47 pm and I just returned from my second (unexpected) shower of the night. Why, you might ask? Well that is a great question...because I just got sprayed or pooped on or tooted on or whatever it is that stink bugs do when they land on you and get "threatened" as my husband says. Yes, a stink bug (a giant one, I might add) landed on me about 15 minutes ago. I was unaware of his presence and all of a sudden he started making his way up my neck and I felt him and I squealed and I knocked him off of my neck all of which was "threatening" to him, I guess. My husband ran in to find out what was wrong and I just kept pointing at the bug (which I DID NOT know was a stink bug at the time) on the floor and asking him to get rid of it all the while telling him that the bug STUNK (is that a word)? He was just laughing at me and told me that "my new friend" was in fact a stink bug...hence the stink! I felt violated and smelly so it was off to the shower again. I am back and feel much better. But the most important question now is, "Where did the stink bug come from???" We are not safe anywhere...even in the comfort of our own office chair...darn stink bug!

Desperate times call for desperate measures....parenting!

So lately, I have been realizing all of the crazy things that I have done (some I had to and others I chose to) since becoming a parent in order to care for my children. I thought it would be fun to make a little list of some of the (not so orthodox) things I have done (many of which I said I would NEVER do) since becoming a mom:

- I have chewed up 3 bananas at different times and fed it to Gracie and Keane that way when I have either run out of baby food while we are out or need something to keep them occupied with and it is all I have!

- I have realized that one of the babies has pooped and gone to change their diaper and realized that they only pooped one little nugget and at the same time realized that they were going to get a bath just 30 minutes later so instead of wasting a whole new diaper I have just removed the nugget and put on the old diaper until bath time...I know gross but hey with two in diapers and them costing about 25 cents each...some would call me 'thrifty'!

- I have fed both of my babies in their car seats while driving TWICE...well, I wasn't driving, Ryan was but I was turned around in the car and was feeding them while the car was moving and YES, Kathmandu roads are BUMPY and dirt in many places but you have got to do what you've got to do right? Needless to say, their carseats (and the two of them...) were covered in apples by the end of it but they were full and happy!

- I have eaten and tasted all of their baby foods and formula on different occassions to make sure the temperture of the food was ok or to unclog the bottle. I know it might not seem like that big of a deal but formula is GROSS!

- I have used girl bibs on Keane and boy bibs on Gracie, purple pacifiers for Keane, pink blankets for Keane, blue (obviously boy blankets) for Gracie...It may not seem like a big deal but it was something I said I would NEVER do before having children.

- I have had one of the babies spit up ALL over me after I have been dressed and been ready to go and have just washed the spot with some water or wet wipes and WORN THE SAME SHIRT! Gross...who does that?

- I have caught their spit up IN MY HAND to make sure that it did not land on the couch or my pants.

- I have blocked Keane's pee from getting on me and all over the place with my hand before a bath or while his diaper is off.

I am sure there are a ton more. Right now I can't think of any...I would LOVE to hear some of yours! Please leave a comment and share some the crazy (desperate) things you have done since becoming a parent. I will try to post my favorites on my blog in another post!

Long day in Kathmandu

Yesterday was a LONG day. The babies are waking up earlier these days...5:30 am to be exact! I tried to put them to bed a little later last night to see if that would make a difference and I gave them a little more food before they went to bed but to no avail...5:30 am was our wake up time once again today. I am definitely not complaining. As it is, they sleep for 10 1/2 to 11 hours straight...I just would like for it to be that they go to bed a bit later and then wake up a bit later. But for now, I will just try to go to bed a little earlier and wait for my 5:30 wake up call. So, our LONG day yesterday began at 5:30!

After my refreshing day on Sunday I felt really ready to start our busy week on Monday. But it was still a LONG day and at the end of it I was very, very tired, frustrated and ready to get home. Running errands in Kathmandu means something totally different than it does in America. The roads are bad, the air is extremely dusty and dirty, the stores and places are spread all over town and are hard to get to and the traffic is horrible. I am not saying that we don't deal with these things in America...I definitely remember sitting in traffic for hours on the parkway or 95 but in many, many ways it is just different.

We left the house at 10 am yesterday and did not return home until 7:00 pm. In many ways that doesn't seem like that long but the babies were with us and we did so little during that time (most of it was spent sitting in traffic) that it just was too much. In 9 hours we drove to a new families flat to help get it set up, went to a paint store (twice) to bring the painter to the new flat to get it painted, went to eat lunch and go to the ATM, and drove to the grocery store and then came home...If all of that went very smoothly with no traffic (which doesn't EVER happen in Nepal) it should have only taken us 5 hours at the most. (I know all of you have had days like this!)

All that to say that I did not plan to be out for so many hours. The babies did so well through it all (thankfully) but I did not have enough food for them for one of their feedings (and we were far away from the grocery store) and here in Nepal we unfortunately do not have mini marts or grocery stores where I can just go and grab some baby food conveniently. So, I did what any mother would do in a situation like that (hungry babies, no baby food) and I bought some bananas on the side of the road while we were in traffic and I chewed it up in my mouth and fed it to the babies. I know, I know...GROSS. But sometimes you just have to do what you have to do! I have seen my Nepali friends do this (this is actually the way that they usually feed their babies solid food)...and I said..."NEVER". But you know what they say, "Never say never". Keane and Gracie did not seem to mind at all. Oh, life in Nepal. Ryan and I were both so tired after the day that he fell asleep at 8:45 pm and I followed shortly thereafter.

**The pictures above are just to give you a good picture of the traffic and pollution here and the one picture of all the guys pushing the truck was taken by my parents on their trip in 2006 but I thought it was worthy for this post because crazy things like that happen EVERY day in Nepal...I mean you would think that the guys on top would at least get off and help push...

I promise the following story is true in its entirety....

I have been meaning to sit down and blog about this since the moment it
happened yesterday but I am just now finding the time to do it and even now probably only have time to write half of this post and will finish the second half later but I just HAVE to tell you about how my morning started yesterday...

OK, so it's about 7:30 am. Gracie and Keane had gotten up at 6 am and they were playing together for a few minutes in their pack and play (that happened to be in my bedroom) while I got a few things done. All of a sudden Gracie starts crying very loudly and I went in to see what was wrong. Well, she had a VERY dirty diaper. So, I took her from the pack and play to their bedroom across our apartment. Just as I removed her diaper and began cleaning her up I heard a bird fly into our home (yes, a bird!) it was SO loud and it was flapping its wings like crazy. I went into panic mode (or survival mode if I want to make it sound a bit more positive) and immediately thought of Keane in the other room by himself. I thought, "oh no! the bird is going to find Keane and peck him but what do I do with Gracie...she has poop everywhere?" So my quick thinking mom brain (notice the sarcasm here, remember I am still in "survival mode") decided the best thing to do is to put her down on the carpet on a towel that was nearby and just pray she did not move much and get poop all over the room (at this point, that was the least of my concerns) and I ran with my hands on my head to Keane and closed the door to the room he was in so the bird (which I found out was definitely a pigeon after I got a good look at him) wouldn't bother him. I then went back to check on Gracie (she was fine although she was moving all over the room...ahhh I am laughing as I write this) and then opened up as many windows as I could and I ran out onto my balcony and began calling for my guard who lives downstairs to come up and help me.

Meanwhile, I step back inside my house and notice that there is not one pigeon but TWO nasty pigeons in my house who are both scared to death (and are probably husband and wife pigeons since they both reside together in the ventilation hole above my stove...more on that later) and are flying back and forth around my living room and kitchen....gross...and pigeons are NOT small birds! Well, my guard never came up but thankfully one of my neighbors happened to be walking downstairs and I said, "help me please! there are two birds in my house!" she came into the house (laughing mind you) and tried to get them to fly out the window. Every time she tired to shoe them away they just flew to the other side of the room and I would duck and cover my head (all I could picture in my head is the scenes from movies when birds are attacking people and pecking away at their heads). My neighbor was laughing so hard at me and while I was crouched down on the ground I was laughing to myself thinking about what a good blog post and fun story to tell Ryan this was going to be (I lost my focus for a minute or two...haha). Then my neighbor called her mom and she came down (all the while they are laughing at my reactions and seem utterly calm about the entire ordeal...apparently this happens quite often in Nepal). I remained crouched on the floor while they dealt with getting the birds outside where they belonged...They were able to finally get them out by opening the front door and the mother shoeing the birds towards the door and yelling to the daughter to open it. It was quite an ordeal and I am definitely glad that there are no more birds in my house. Except for a little pigeon poop (that I thoroughly cleaned up...gross) they didn't mess anything else up.

How did the birds get into the house in the first place you ask? Good question...in Nepal most of the homes have a hole (larger than necessary and not sealed) in the side of the kitchen wall where the vent from the stove runs out and in my home, there is a tube that runs from the stove to the hole...unfortunately these pigeons have been spending WAY too much time in the tube and we have tried to get them to stay out many different times and ways but yesterday the tube split in half allowing pigeons free entrance into our home! My guard fixed the tube and put it back together, so for that I am thankful BUT the love birds are STILL hanging out in there and it is driving me crazy. They make the pigeon coo all day long and flap around in there...it is loud and annoying. As soon as Ryan gets back I am going to ask him to put screen over the hole so we can be done with this problem once and for all!

What would you have done in a situation like that??? I would like to say, "only in Nepal" but I know that is not true, I am sure stuff like this happens around the globe. Anyone else have any crazy bird or rodent in the house stories to share??

I wish, wish, wish I had pictures to share but alas Ryan has our camera in the mountains. So, for visual stimulation, you will have to settle for a photo of pigeons from the Internet!