Are we less of a godly woman if we use canned spaghetti sauce??? Part 3

Continued from previous 2 posts...

I feel that we in many ways are living in the past; we've reverted to the past, pre-feminism. As a response to feminism, which in many ways sets up the individual as god, Christianity looked to cultural and social answers for a biblical role of a godly woman. I think that Christian godly woman in the past HAD to make bread, HAD to learn to sew, HAD to make dinner from scratch every night. I think that we have falsely equated what they HAD to do to survive and thrive with what we have to do in this day and age. Is it WRONG to buy store bought bread? Are we less of a godly woman if we use canned spaghetti sauce? MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY, where does homemaking fit into the work of the Gospel, for which all of God's children are responsible?: certainly it [homemaking] plays a major role, but it is by no means a complete understanding of the role of a Christian woman in the world bringing the Good News to the lost.

I know you have thought these things. And you know what one of the biggest problems is? Because the Christian culture is telling us that these things are most important, our husbands (like us) believe it. So if you don't make bread but Mary from across the street does, then she is doing what she is supposed to, and we are not.

What about teaching our daughters to serve their husbands, families, homes AND to love the lost, to spend time serving others around her, to spend time cleaning the old ladies house down the street, to spend time washing dishes at the homeless shelter, to take food to others to bless them, to share what Christ has done in her life with the world. The only way she is going to learn these things is if we model them in our own lives. This is "Discipleship 101."

Serving others around you does not mean that your home life has to suffer. I definitely don’t think that that is what God intends. It just means that you figure out what is most important and do it and teach it. Figure out what is most important because God says so and not because the world (Christian or not) is telling you so. It would be amazing to know how much the world is changed if every housewife shared her faith with at least one other woman a week, if every housewife not only made bread for her family but also made it for the neighbor's family.

There are many ways to do this and make it happen. Maybe you can sit down with your husband and figure out just one hour a week where he can stay home with the kids and you can get out. For women on this side of the world, this may be easier for you because your husbands' schedules may be more flexible (and many of us have some sort of house help). For ladies whose husbands have full time, set-hour jobs, this may be more difficult, but you also could hire a high school kid to come and stay at home with your children for just one hour while you spend time visiting with ladies on your street. (I encouraged taking your children with you before. These are just ideas if that is not possible or for times you would just like to be able to have a deeper conversation without having to get up every few minutes to take care of the children.)

This all may sound silly, crazy even, but perhaps that is because there is little to no priority given to the Gospel. For wives who have husbands who have flexible work schedules, consider discussing this with him and seeing if there are ways that you can compromise and work out a few hours a week (or one day a week) that he can stay with the children while you go out into the community OR (since I am sure many of you might say that these things won't work) what about inviting women into our home? What about hosting lunches at our home for the ladies on our street and all chipping in to hire a babysitter (even just one babysitter who can be an extra set of hands) and talking about life issues? Serving them?

We make it work for things we want to do (ouch…I am speaking to myself here (in ALL of this) just as much ladies!) like going out to eat with friends, going to the mall or movies, but for some reason when it comes to ministry we have let ourselves become content with serving only within the confines of the home.

Have you ever been around women who say, "I know my ministry right now is to serve my husband and my children and take care of my home, but I am just not happy: I feel something is missing"? I have! I have been around MANY women like this who are battling between what the Christian community is telling them and what they understand Scripture is saying. I think this is because we are imbalanced about what we are teaching women is important, and I think this is because we are settling to stay in our comfort zones in our home and not push each other to look for ways that we can not only serve inside our home but also OUTSIDE among those that need the Gospel (OF COURSE I know your children need the Gospel too, PLEASE don't misunderstand or misread!), need to know God loves them and wants a relationship with them and has a perfect plan for their lives! I think this is also because our husbands are also listening to the "Christian culture" and thinking that we should be happy and content and fulfilled in our duties at home. So, they can't understand (and sometimes don't help) when we want to find some way to serve others in our community.

I think one of the most important things in all of this is the WHY. Why do we want help from our husbands...why do we want time to "get out", etc? Is it because we feel ENTITLED to some time away, because we desire EQUALITY so much, because we are seeking for something else to satisfy us other than our duties at home, because we feel our gifts and talents will be better utilized and appreciated outside of the home? If it is for one of these reasons I think we have MISSED it as well. I am not condoning ANY of these reasons. I am only suggesting that we should "get out" (or invite women in) because of our awesome responsibility as Christian, Jesus following, women to take Christ's love to the lost around us.

I am not asking you to approach your husband and tell him, "I need MY time." I am asking you to consider (and pray about) approaching your husband and explaining to him this INTENSE (God given) desire you have to SERVE your Lord with those around you and explain to him that you might need his help to do so. I am suggesting that you approach your husband and explain to him that you simply want to fulfill what the Lord has asked of you in impacting the world around you in your community BECAUSE of your love for Christ and NOT out of selfish motives.

I venture to say that if we do this, we will all be MORE equipped to serve our families and our home and will be better wives and moms because we are doing exactly what God asked us to do and not spending our days wondering why we feel like 'something is missing' the way that we often do.

I pray that as you have read this you feel LOVE and not condemnation. I pray that you see my humble, learning heart in all of this and not an arrogant spirit. I am not trying to be offensive or to shove my "opinions" down your throat. I am not trying to be a renegade and go against all cultural norms. I am not trying to JUDGE. I am not making a blanket statement that all Christian women are under this impression. I am not trying to put all Christian women in a box. I am trying to do the OPPOSITE!

I am trying to encourage and sharpen you and me. I am trying to hold us all to the correct standard. I am trying to search through Scripture and truly live according to God's plan. I am simply trying to help us all become the women that God has designed us to be.

**OK, I have already heard from a few of you (thanks for commenting) but I want to hear more. For those of you who stuck with me for all three posts, what do you think? I would love to know what this has done in your life. I would love to know your opinion on the matter, what God is teaching you. Leave a comment and let me know. Thanks!