Things I have learned and things that have been confirmed in my life since Ryan has been gone...

I thought I would take some time while it is fresh on my mind to post about a few things that I have learned and others that have been confirmed in my life through this past week or so with being without Ryan. (You can read my earlier posts about Ryan traveling by clicking Post #1 and Post #2).

1. My love for Ryan has been CONFIRMED to me through his being gone. I love him so much and I knew it of course but it just confirms it a million times over to do life without him for a while. I never want to be without him. He is my best best friend, an amazing father and the most wonderful husband.

2. The fact that raising twins is much easier and more fun when Ryan is around has been CONFIRMED in his absence.

3. I have LEARNED a lot more about being a mom and what I (with God and other's grace and help of course) am capable of. I have learned that I can take care of both of my babies by myself for an extended period of time. I have figured out "tricks of the trade" that I may never have had to figure out had Ryan been right there to help me. Tricks that will be very useful even when he is home like singing and dancing for the babies so they will stop crying or how to feed both of them at the exact same time (I am able to do this now with both bottles and baby food).

4. I have LEARNED to rely more on other people to help with my babies and to simply help me through this. With Ryan by my side, he and I have a great system as to how we take care of the babies together and we work as a team. There have been few times that we have needed to ask for help (although many people have helped us and it has been wonderful). With grandparents and other family far away it is hard to find people who I trust enough to leave my babies with or who I want to have feed them a bottle or hold them when they are crying or watch them for an hour while I run to the store or exercise, etc and the people who I would trust have their own families to be responsible for and are very busy with them (although many of them would be more than willing to take care of G and K and have offered on many occasions). Anyway, all of that to say that this week or so I have had to rely a lot more on others to help me in many different ways. I have had to step out and ask for help and have even had the girl who works in my home and her sister come a few days this week to watch the babies for an hour so I could go across the street and just get out a bit and get some exercise. That is a first for us. But through it all, everyone has been so amazing and helpful. The two days I went out and took the babies with me, people came to help me get into the taxi and all of my neighbors (the ones who live in my same house) met me downstairs when the taxi arrived in the evening to help me carry my things and the babies up the stairs. I have learned to let go more from trying to do everything myself (or just with Ryan) and have been amazed at the ways that others have ministered to me by helping me.

4. It has been CONFIRMED that I can not go anywhere completely by myself with two babies. In America I think I could (although I know it would still be very difficult) with a car, strollers and good (not dirt) roads to push the stroller around on but right now I am definitely not in America! Like I said, I did get out twice this week with the babies (once to go to a ladies lunch and another time to go to a new families flat) and both times I needed a lot of help but as you can see from #3 help was there!

5. I have LEARNED that I love having unlimited access to the computer and have enjoyed not having to share it. Maybe I need my own computer...haha!

6. It has been CONFIRMED to me that taking care of two babies by myself makes me TIRED.

7. I have LEARNED that cooking for one is so hard and I would rather not even plan a meal since it is just me eating it so I have been just eating cereal or sandwiches for dinner each night.

8. I have LEARNED that I can stay by myself at night and be OK. I know this may sound silly but I wasn't sure how I would do and was really apprehensive about it but God has been so gracious to me and so far so good.

9. It has been CONFIRMED to me how much I like blogging and enjoy reading others blogs since I have had more time to spend on blogs since Ryan has been gone and I have the computer to myself.

10. It has been CONFIRMED to me that I love being married (and that I am not an "alone" person) and wouldn't trade it for the world. I am so thankful God has blessed me with a husband who I can do life with. I can't wait for him to return home in a few days.