My God is SO faithful...

Wow it has been a LONG time since I updated this blog. I didn't really realize how long it has been. It seems each day that I think of a million things that I want to write about and then by the end of the day I can't seem to find the energy to put my thoughts into words...oh well...hopefully I will be able to find some time and energy to write about the things that God is really teaching me and all that is going on in my heart and head. For now though I want to share with you a story about how God showed His faithfulness to me SO clearly this past week that it totally blew me away:

Many of you know that Ryan, Keane, Gracie and I spent the past 10 days in India. We traveled to three cities (none of which are anywhere near each other) to visit friends and co-workers and get to "see" some of India. Overall the trip went really well and as smoothly as it could while traveling with two 22 month old toddlers (who did AMAZINGLY well considering all that we did and all the places we went!).

Anyway, even though most things went smoothly there were times that I was EXHAUSTED and worn out from the traveling and I have to admit that it often showed in my attitude. This one particular day we had just spent 5 days with our amazing friends in a city in the 'middle of India' and were traveling back to Delhi to stay the night before we left for a 12 hour car ride the next day to Northern India where we would go to Dharamsala. The only flight we could get was at night so we didn't leave our friends until 8:10 pm. That afternoon I had tried a couple of ATM's so that I could get out money for the rest of our trip and neither of them worked (I figured it was just because my bank was blocking my card from being used in India). Ryan and I decided that we would just exchange some of the US dollars we had brought with us into Indian rupees at the airport in Delhi...surely the capital will have places at the airport to exchange money.

When we finally arrived in Delhi at 9:45 pm all of us were wiped out....all we wanted to do was get in a taxi and get to the hotel. Well as soon as we got our luggage we asked about money exchange places and all of the workers directed us outside (which isn't great because once you leave you can't enter back into the airport) saying that there were none inside that were open. Once we arrive at the one money exchange counter they have outside they tell us that they are OUT OF MONEY and they can't help us. At this point we have $600 US dollars on us and 300 Indian rupees (less than $10) and we can't pay for a taxi in dollars and 300 rupees isn't enough. We then decided to try our ATM again and yet again it didn't work. We kept asking and asking for help from all different workers in different shops and all they could tell us was that we could walk about 10 minutes and try another ATM. I was willing to exchange dollars with them for rupees and NO ONE wanted to help us....it wasn't that they were rude, it was just that they weren't helpful at all!

At this point we are TIRED and my attitude is less than admirable and I am upset at Ryan (why? I don't know...I guess he was the one I could take my frustrations out on...I hate that I do that...) and I am about to cry. I realized that I had NO FAITH that God was going to help us and that somehow this would all get worked out. In my heart I had a knowledge that God was with me and that He would provide but unfortunately my actions and attitude didn't show that at all. After pacing around the outside of the airport and talking about all kinds of options we decide to go and ask the money exchange guy one more time if he can help us....of course he says "no". Just as we turn around we see some Tibetan looking people walking up to us. In perfect English they say, "Do you need help?" I wanted to scream..."YES! Please help us!" but instead I just said "yes" and smiled as I held back tears. They asked us how they could help us and said how thankful they were that we would allow them to help us. They said that often when they reach out to help people the people don't trust them and all they want to do is help. They said that they had been watching us walk from place to place with all of our bags and the kids and figured we must need help...it just took them that long to get up the courage to approach us!

We told them the situation and simply asked if they would exchange money with us. Just then they all started speaking to each other (there were 3 of them...2 guys and a girl) in Nepali...it brought a HUGE smile to my face. Here I was in dire need of help and God not only brings someone to reach out and help us but He brings Tibetan Buddhist Nepali speakers (who we work with here in Nepal and come to find out they are all from Sikkim a state in India that is mainly Tibetan Buddhist and their common language that they speak with each other is Nepali). I wanted to reach out and hug them. I felt like I was "home". They said that we didn't need to give them money and that they would help us get a taxi and would stay with us until we get in one...I started to cry. One of the guys looked at me and said, "why are you crying?" and I said, "Because I was just so nervous and I am just so thankful." These guys spent the next 30 minutes running back and forth for us trying to get us a taxi to our guest house (thankfully they also spoke fluent Hindi (the majority language of India) too...amazing!). The wait to get a taxi was about 30 minutes and they even offered for us to go with them in their taxi (which was very funny because it was a normal size taxi and they had 4 people and we had 4 people and they had 2 bags and we had 4 bags and there was NO way that we were all fitting in that one taxi...but it was sweet of them). During the wait they talked with us (and shared some about where their families live and that they are all in college there in Delhi) and tried all they could to get us in a taxi sooner. While the guys were running around the girl stayed with me and Ryan and played with Keane and Gracie...she was beyond sweet to them.

The guys ran back and said they had a taxi for us. We told them how we thought that they were a gift from God and that God had used them to provide for us. We asked them over and over again to take the 300 rupees that we had or to even take the $20 bill (the smallest bill we had on us) in order to pay them back for paying for the taxi (which cost about 400 rupees). They refused over and over again and said that they didn't want anything they ONLY wanted to help us. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. We gave them our cards with our email addresses and asked them over and over again to email us. I REALLY hope they do. As many of you know things like this DO NOT happen (OK..rarely) in South Asia and they happen rarely anywhere in the world (a complete stranger trying to reach out to you and paying for you and denying money when you offer to pay them back!). They were amazing and they are clear and vivid pictures to help me remember that I am never alone and that God is ALWAYS with me. God needs to receive all of the glory!

As I got in the taxi with my family and drove away waving good-bye to my new friends I again began to cry. I couldn't help but be broken before God and apologize to Him for my unfaithfulness...for the fact that I chose to worry about the situation instead of putting my hope, faith and trust in Him that He would work in a mighty way to help us in our time of need. As I held Keane I just wept and felt the love of God SO strongly...it was almost as if I could feel Him wrap His arms around us. It was such an awesome feeling to clearly see God's provision and work in our lives. We are NOT alone. God is with us. He is walking with us and He knows what we need even before we ask. He was faithful when I was unfaithful. I could just picture Him watching me get so upset and scared and Him just trying to say to me,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

and

"God will meet all of your needs according His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

and

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10.

Right as Keane was starting to fall asleep I kissed him and whispered in his ear, "sweet boy go to sleep tonight knowing clearly that God loves us and is holding us in His hand." This is something I know in my mind to be true but at that point (and in many other points throughout my life) I felt it deep, deep in my heart and it was the best feeling in the world.

Thank you God for the ways that you show yourself SO faithful to us. It is our hearts desire to REMEMBER your abundant faithfulness and cling to it during the very hard times when we can't see it as clearly. I love you!